"CELEBRATE YOU"

When I was in therapy almost 20 years ago, my therapist at the time told me that no one should ever work on their birthday if they do not have to. WHY? Because it is a day to celebrate you and to acknowledge that you are special and that this is the day you were given life. So I needless to say have not worked on my birthday for 20 years. I usually spend the day with my mother depending upon on what day it falls on or with my husband if we are away on vacation. I believe it is important to say today is my day whether or not it sounds spoiled or selfish. The reality is It is your birthday to do whatever makes you happy. So my mother and I will go antiquing for the day and have a really nice lunch and talk and laugh and have a good time and if I have been a good daughter which I am I will get a present. My husband will make me one of my favorite dinners with flowers and candlelight and a special present. I do also celebrate my birthday further with my three closest friends and other family members on separate occasions. I like to feel special, so my birthday is that time of year for me to connect with those in my life who are truly important and very special to me. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

So take the time to celebrate you and all your goodness!!!

www.balancelife4u.com

"Expectations of Our Children"

I believe in this day and age it can be very difficult to be a parent especially if you are not the norm. What I mean by this is that we live in a society where a lot of kids are given whatever they want and are not taught any manners or proper etiquette. I am always amazed when I see a 7 or 8 year old talking back to his parents telling them to shut up and to do what he wants them to do and the parent does not reprimand this child or say anything except "OK Johnny". Than there are the parents of adolescents who let their kids drink alcohol in their home with their friends, smoke pot, and stay out all night. There seems to be less boundaries and rules for young persons(14-18) these days. They are allowed to be adults and make adult decisions when they are not even mature enough to do so. This is a tragedy waiting to happen. What happens is that kids get this false sense of confidence that they can handle all these pressures and push themselves beyond all their limits without knowing that eventually something is going to give. How many kids get behind the wheel of their cars heavily intoxicated and kills their friends, or gets a DUI, or gets date raped, or overdosing on alcohol and drugs??? TOO MANY!!!! I work with a lot of adolescents and it always amazes me how many have no rules or curfews and can come and go as they please at 16/17 years old. I will have the few adolescents whose parents do set limits and boundaries and are met with tons of resistance because to their children they are being treated unfairly. It is understandable that these young persons would feel this way but you know what in the end they will be better off. They will learn about being responsible and the importance of boundaries as well as the fact that their parents care about them and their welfare. Parents who do not know where their children are or who do not really care what they are doing as long as they do not get caught or are in trouble and in for a rude awakening because their child more than likely will kill someone while driving under the influence or die of an overdose at some time in their lives or they will never get ahead in life because they have no self-esteem or any idea how to a productive member of society. It is far better to be a strict parent who allows for exceptions to curfews than to say "Whatever I trust you" because it has nothing to do with trust. Some kids do not know their limits and sadly do not care enough about themselves. So parents look at your children and really ask yourself if providing all these liberties have gained you "the relationship you want with your child or that your child has become the person you have wished for." I have not found too many kids that have any real respect for their parents when they have been given whatever they wanted and with no consequences.

http://www.balancelife4u.com/

"Fall is a Time for Change"

Whenever the season of FALL arrives most people start to evaluate or reevaluate the things in their life that they have been procrastinating about or wanting to do. For some it is looking for a new job, going to school, ending a relationship, quitting drugs or alcohol, losing weight or how they see their lives in five, ten, twenty years and if they are happy with the way things are in their life. There is something about the leaves changing color and the crisp air that creates this feeling of wanting something to be different in their lives. The FALL weather has a way of prompting us to see how beautiful nature is and how simple life can be if we just enjoyed what we have in our lives rather than what we do not have. Take a drive down a country road and allow yourself to truly experience the beauty of the trees and the colors and just breathe and relax. Life is Good. It will probably motivate you to want to change the things in your life that you have been putting off. Look at this time as an opportunity to change and to live your life with meaning and purpose.

www.balancelife4u.com

"CHANGE"

Change is never easy no matter what it is that you want to change in your life. Change requires that you make a decision in your life about something that it either really important to you personally or something someone else wants from you. Change is scary for most people because there is an unknown to what the outcome will be. It is much easier to stay where you are even if you do not like it because it is familiar and comfortable. Once you decide that you need to change you need to figure out if you need support from others and how you will ask for that support as well as what will that change mean for you in all areas of your life. It is important to have a clear understanding of the impact that this change will have for you in your life both positive and negative. The latter is usually related to others. While they want you to change they also will have to change and they may not be ready to look at themselves. It can be helpful to talk to friends or a professional counselor or life coach to assist you in making the life changes that you desire.

Change is Good regardless of the outcome.

www.balancelife4u.com

"Keep It Simple Part 2"

The question has risen what if someone else is interfering with your ability to keep things simple? Well you need to do your best to separate yourself from this person and/or situation emotionally first so that you can figure out what your role in it is. Sometimes all we can do is NOTHING because there are things that are out of our control. We can not control other people's behaviors. All we can do is make sure that we have taken care of ourselves as best as we can and let it go. Trying to figure out why someone is doing what they are doing can make you "crazy". All you can do is focus on you and trust that you are making the best decisions possible. People are going to do whatever it is that they want even if it complicates your life. It is not fair but it is life. So your only options are to know yourself, to understand the situation, to make appropriate decisions and to move forward. It is not easy to deal with other people who do not care how their behaviors affect us especially if it is to intentionally hurt or harm because of their own unresolved issues and baggage. We have no control over them only over us and how we respond to the situation. So do your best to Keep It Simple and to not complicate it by creating a crisis it will serve no purpose except to keep you unsettled and in crisis.

www.balancelife4u.com

"Keep It Simple"

How easy is it to keep things simple when your head is moving a hundred miles a minute? It is not, but it can be done. It is all about slowing down for a brief moment and writing down whatever it is that is in your head that is creating conflict for you. If you can't do that than find someone you can talk to. If that doesn't work talk out loud to yourself and ask yourself what it is that you are looking for at that moment to create simplicity not crisis. A lot of time we create crisis because it is all we know how to do and for some how to function. Yet it does not need to be this way. Uncomplicate your life by putting things in perspective and figuring out if you need help to manage your crisis and if so make the plans necessary so that you can continue to address whatever else it is that needs attention and resolution. It helps to have a plan it does not necessarily have to be permanent but a tentative one will reduce some anxiety and stress.

So KEEP IT SIMPLE. Life is too short to be in a constant mind frenzy.

www.balancelife4u.com

"BE WHO YOU ARE"

This is a daily meditation From the pages of The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie:
"In recovery, we are learning a new beahvior. It's called Be Who You Are. For some of us, this can be frightening. What would happen if we felt what we felt, said what we wanted, became firm about our beliefs, and valued what we needed? What would happen if we let go our camouflage of adaptation? What would happen if we owned our power to be ourselves? Would people still like us? Would they go away? Would they become angry?"

"There comes a time when we become willing and ready to take that risk. To continue growing, and living with ourselves, we realize we must liberate ourselves. It becomes time to stop allowing ourselves to be so controlled by others and their expectations and be true to ourselves - regardless of the reaction of others. Before long, we begin to understand. Some people may go away, but the relationship would have ended anyway. Some people stay and love and respect us more for taking the risk of being who we are. We begin to achieve intimacy, and relationships that work. We discover that who we are has always been GOOD ENOUGH. It is who we were intended to be."

"Today, I will own my power to be myself."

Reading a daily meditation can provide support and validation when you are struggling or need to have some structure and balance in your life. It is nice to know that you are not alone.

www.balancelife4u.com

"ANGER"

I was reading this book about anger and how harmful it can be. I would like to share with you some of the things that I read that made sense and thought may be helpful.

This book was written by Vernon Howard, so these are his thoughts and words.

"Anger hurts your health, makes you miserable, blocks solutions, wastes your energy, keeps you helpless, invites attacks, imprisons your spirit, wrecks human relations, gives you headaches, causes accidents, ruins restful sleep and turns a love of life into a lonely life." "Feeling hatred is easier. You do not have to consider anyone else, or even the consequences to yourself. You need only fall into it, losing your integrity on the downward plunge, which is foolishly a thrilling experience for some." "Anger is not necessary. Stop wearing yourself out." "Realize that anger serves no true need, that is performs no necessary service. The habit of anger does not want you to see this, it likes to hang around to bully and bother you. You need to see your anger as pointless. The power is to see it as useless. When you see it that way, You let it go and you drop it. There is no point to it."

I think what he has to say can have a lot of impact on you if you or someone you know has an anger management problem. So learn about your anger and figure out how to let it go so that you can move forward with your life.

www.balancelife4u.com

Change

Most of struggle with change at some point in our lives. Change is relative to what is going on in our lives and what level of commitment we can make. It takes courage to change things about yourself that you may not like and a willingness to hear what others may have to say about you and your situation. My belief is as long as you are OPEN to change it is possible to CHANGE.

I read this quote on a card that I really liked:
"It is not how many doors are opened to you that counts, it is how many you are BRAVE enough to walk through."

So be brave, be courageous and make the necessary changes that you need to make in your life to be happy, fulfilled or whatever it is that you are looking for in your life.

www.balancelife4u.com